WillametteWeek– Portland DJ hosts the city’s first ever educational strip club Halloween event.
Portland strip club and adult entertainment mainstay DJ Dick Hennessy. On Tuesday, he is kicking off Portland’s first ever strip club haunted house at Spyce, based on “The Seven Deadly Strip Club Sins.” I spoke to Mr. Hennessy about his inspiration for the haunted house, the seven deadly strip club sins, and what guests can expect.
Is the haunted house supposed to be scary, sexy, or both?
Both. We are trying to do a nice scary edge to it, but at the same time make it enjoyable and educational. The concept is “The Seven Deadly Strip Club Sins.” For people who aren’t too familiar with the rules or the etiquette for being in a strip club, this will be an educational, collaborative type of experience where you get to learn what not to do at the strip club.
What are the seven deadly strip club sins?
The first is: no taking photos or videos to record the dancers.
Second, no stealing from the dancers.
Another is to not present your junk in the private dance area.
Fourth: do not lick or kiss the dancers.
Fifth is to never proposition or try to get a girl back to your hotel room.
The main one is “Thou shalt tip your dancer.”
And the final sin: “Thou shalt not be a trainwreck in the strip club. Do not be drunk, belligerent, obnoxious, or out of control.”
I lived there for 10 years so let me shed some light on this.
I’m sorry, what? That was my first reaction… until it hit me. This makes PERFECT sense. It’s no secret Portland has the most strip clubs per capita. Whether that’s fact, I don’t know. I do know that’s the first thing people tell you when you move there. Day ONE stuff. In fact, you are guaranteed to learn that even before your car gets “GO BACK” keyed on the side while you’re at lunch.
Side note- That will happen and it’s always when you’re not around. I would pay money to see one of these spineless dipsshits get curb stomped, American History X style. It’s the land of the free you fuck. That means people can move where they damn well please.
Back to my point. So if there’s a strip club in every corner what do you do? You zig while they zag my friends. You open a strip club haunted house. Boom. You see a weirdo? I see a businessman. Gotta know your market. Assess the situation and fill a need. Knowing Portland like I do, there’s a sizable nut job population. Give the fan base what it wants.
For real though, how about this list- “The Seven Deadly Strip Club Sins”
- No taking photos or videos to record the dancers
- No stealing from the dancers
- No presenting your junk in the private dance area
- No licking or kissing the dancers
- No proposition or trying to get a girl back to your hotel room
- “Thou shalt tip your dancer”
- “Thou shalt not be a trainwreck in the strip club. Do not be drunk, belligerent, obnoxious, or out of control”
They left the biggest one out! No pulling your husband out by his hair after finding him at the rack. Come on now, easily top three material. Right next to no tossing quarters at the dancers. Hey don’t judge. You know what sucks? Going to a Strip Club when you’re poor.
Big thanks to Slim Steve for…